blue's clues

I'm really sad today.

Mom visited for six fun-filled days (okay, some days were filled with multiple trips to home improvement stores and painting 8 hours a day) and left yesterday, which always leaves me feeling a little verklempt, especially since she lives on the opposite side of the continent, a fact she keeps pointing out all "hint hint, move back, my offspring" sort of way.

Plus, mousie was put to sleep today, and I am still rather ridiculously weepy about this, considering my entire repertoire of interactions with her over the span of her two years on the planet was chasing her out around and scooping her out of tank with a cardboard tube on Cage Cleaning Day, as she detested and feared being handled at all.

And, I don't think it helps I'm going back to work today. We moved to the Shiny Brand New Unit while I was off , feverishly comparing paint samples and swaths of fabric as if I'd entered some Designing With The Stars contest. This means while I got to escape the Yuck Factor of the merge, I now have to go in and try to find where they put the twomey syringes and 2X2 gauzes and stuff that's not likely to be where it was before, considering we're in a new building.

Since we merged with another unit, I'm also going to have to figure out More People, And Who They Are And Of What Use They Are To Me.

So, what little comfort zone I'd eked out on SICU has been ripped away, and I'm feeling very much wrong-footed and whiny about the whole thing, as in, "Why can't everything just stay the same for like five minutes, so I don't have to keep taking notes on where to find the staff bathroom or where we keep the linen cart, for Chrissake?!"

Plus, I still fear work, especially after a comfy stretch of days off, hanging out at home painting my apartment with mom and feeling all happy not to be at work being scared shitless by some crumping patient or other.

I also really haven't slept at all properly the entire week, and didn't get in any marathon sleeping ventures prior to this start of the work week (the weekend, for me) due to Mouse Crisis 2008. So, I'm tired and was tempted to call out and sleep, but then wussed out, as I felt it would be difficult to justify a call-out related to mouse grief later on in say, winter, when I'm hacking up a spare lung during a real illness.

Maybe it's better I have to go to work and be forced to interact with people today, however, since I'm kind of morose and depressed about having to put the mouse to sleep, etc.

Oh well. There's always time for sleep. Tomorrow.