The Curious Incident of the Fake Wife In The Nighttime.

Scene: night shift, intensive care unit at a large county teaching hospital; surgical resident attempting to elicit information from haggard-looking woman at patient's bedside.

RESIDENT:
(with faked air of pleasantness)
So, you're his wife?

WOMAN:
Well, yeah... I mean, we've been together for six months!

RESIDENT:
(increasingly dubious)
Yes, but are you his legal spouse?

WOMAN:
Well, I sleep with him. We have sex. I'm as good as his wife.

RESIDENT:
(patience wearing thin)
I don't think you're understanding me. Did you get married? Do you have legal document saying you are his wife?

WOMAN:
(agitated, emphatically)
You don't understand! We've been together for six months. We have sex and stuff! He don't got nobody else! I'm his wife!