However, yesterday I hopped on the Metro and headed into DC to see The National Zoo. (I seriously think I missed my calling as a veterinarian, because I really like animals. So much so that I consent to slogging around a confinement camp for exotic animals in a park like setting meant for children under the age of ten).
The Zoo was free, but it was hot and muggy, so taking longer-than-necessary reprieves inside The Reptile House, for instance, soon became top priority. The abundance of screaming spoiled children quickly became a nerve-shredder as well. Don't parents teach their children to use their "inside voice" any more? What happened to corporal punishment and going to bed without supper? And incidentally, whatever happened to common courtesy, as in Shut Your Kid The F--- Up so that other patrons can watch the adorable little gibbons eat lice off each others' heads? Some of us need silence for these kinds of contemplative activities.
From the Irony Defined Corner: while I was walking through the Outdoor Monkey Preserve (or whatever it was), I witnessed the following conversation between two youths about age eight who were hanging over the guardrail trying to catch a glimpse of that elusive, mysterious creature that obviously inhabits not the space-age world of Xbox and MTV videos, the... oh well, never mind, here you go:
KID NUMBER ONE:
[to another kid]
Oh my God! Did you see that squirrel?!
KID NUMBER TWO:
Whooooa! Coool! Quick, take a picture!
KID NUMBER ONE:
[snaps shutter on $300 digital camera]
Wow. That was like, totally awesome!
[to another kid]
Oh my God! Did you see that squirrel?!
KID NUMBER TWO:
Whooooa! Coool! Quick, take a picture!
KID NUMBER ONE:
[snaps shutter on $300 digital camera]
Wow. That was like, totally awesome!
No, I'm not hyperbolizing. Yes, I'll wait a moment until the richness of the irony has set in fully with you, gentle reader.
(Sidebar: They actually saw a chipmunk but let's not confuse American youth with genus/species scientific nomenclature now, okay? Because clearly attempting to educate kids these days isn't working so why meddle with the system now?)
If that conversation isn't a sign of our times, nothing is.
Rend thy tunics and beat thy bosoms, future educators of America. For this is the raw material with which you will have to work.
May I suggest a moment of silence?
(Sidebar: They actually saw a chipmunk but let's not confuse American youth with genus/species scientific nomenclature now, okay? Because clearly attempting to educate kids these days isn't working so why meddle with the system now?)
If that conversation isn't a sign of our times, nothing is.
Rend thy tunics and beat thy bosoms, future educators of America. For this is the raw material with which you will have to work.
May I suggest a moment of silence?
2 comments:
Sheer brilliance. And people wonder why I don't want a gaggle of loud brats to raise.
What movie were you talking about?
National Treasure, with Nicholas Cage. Absolute rubbish, not the least of which was the premise one could steal the Declaration of Independence in the first place, much less run around with it in your Treasure Hunter knapsack for days at a time without being caught, or the document utterly destroyed.
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