as seen on t.v.

GSW victim:
[wheeled up on guerney; lying in blood soaked sheets]
So, have you been watching t.v.?

NURSE:
No, should I be?

GSW victim:
Can we turn on the t.v.?

NURSE:
[redressing chest tube incision, distracted by, you know, tending to the gun shot wound]
Why?

GSW victim:
I wanna see if I'm on the news yet.

NURSE:
[chuckling good naturedly]
No, sir, I don't think you've been on the news yet.

GSW victim:
[apparently extremely disappointed]
Damn. That sucks.

NURSE
[thinks to self]
As opposed to the bullet that pierced one of your major organs?