Tuesday, February 26, 2008

be on time. do not be drunk.

I read these sage, fortune-cookie-esque words on a website giving tips--presumably for those recently incarcerated at length--on that knee-knocking, sweaty-palm inducing first date.

I think this is great advice for anybody, at any time, not just first dates. Check it out:

Going to work? "Be on time. Do not be drunk."

Going to church, mosque or synagogue? "Be on time. Do not be drunk."

Prosecuting a major criminal trial? "Be on time. Do not be drunk."

Planning a robbery or major kidnapping? "Be on time. Do not be drunk."

It's advice that works for nearly everybody, in nearly all situations.

I like it. I think I'll start using it as my signature line, especially when I'm applying to a new job, because I failed to take my own advice in showing up to work sober. (Just kidding).


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