Later, when I'm more lucid: Why Columbia South Carolina Should Be On Your List of Places Never to Visit.
For now: Have you ever wished, in a very uncharitable, slightly psychopathic way, that someone would kill your neighbor (wait! maybe it is what a good Christian would do, if you count the Jesus Kicking The Money-Changers Collective Ass scene as ethically instructive gospel reading, which I do, for one.)
I can now say I regularly fantasize that someone, anyone comes up to my stupid, annoying, talentless drum-playing neighbor and pops a cap in him while he plays his infantile rhythms over and over and over again.
Or destroys his drum set. Or blows up his garage. Then gives me a tranquilizer, so I can go back to sleep, like I was before the introduction of noodle-head drum playing at random hours of the day and evening.
Later, on the six o'clock news, we could watch Our Hero walking away from his pyrotechnical display of revenge in classic slow-mo B-movie style.
Seething with rage, I continue faking an air of calm.
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1 comment:
At least you're still faking an air of calm; I either storm out my door and glare at parent-child festivals of screaming down below, or just shout at high decibels from my couch, demanding peace from the ill-educated population surrounding me.
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