Heroes.

Ten Superpowers I'd Like to Have, or "If I Were a Super Hero."

10. Invisibility. (Kind of like how I felt in jr high school).

9. India. Or, possibly, China. (Hey, they're rising superpowers!)

8. A lot of money. (It's a superpower! Unless you're Russian and post Cold War inflation has rendered your rubles useless. Or American, same difference).

7. Repository of Useless information. (Oh wait, already am one.)

6. Verbal fluency in Latin (see #7). (Just think--I could crash Vatican Councils!)

5. Biblical Whup-Ass, eg the ability to turn enemies into pillars of salt. Now that was when divine wrath was worth something.

4. X-ray vision. Then I wouldn't have to page radiology fifty times only to have them question whether or not I "really need that stat film, like, now, or something."

3. The food-producing thing a la Jesus would be kind of cool, too, as it would likewise negate the need for annoying dietary pages.

4. Mindreading abilities--I'd never have to page a cranky attending over illegible orders again!

3. Understanding Hegel (philosophy majors hear me on this one. Probably no one else does, but we superheroes are a misunderstood lot).

2. Perfect pitch.

1.Bruce Bannon's capacity to become really angry and green. Because green is a scary color. And so is the ability to rip out of all of your clothes and bite through cars.