this is cubby. cubby is a socialized cat.

Boys and Girls, I'd like you to all give a warm welcome to Cubby!

Cubby is a Socialized Cat (we will return to this idea in a moment):

(Nota bene: We can tell Cubby is a Socialized Cat because someone, probably long ago, in a universe far, far away, stuffed Cubby into the yellow tee shirt you see here, which looks like it may never come off until it's in rags and/or Cubby chews it off in utter disgust and annoyance. We also know Cubby is a Socialized Cat, per Cat Guy, by the way his little front paws are tucked neatly beneath him.)

Also, I think the top reason we know Cubby is a Socialized Cat (as opposed to a Feral Cat I suppose): because Cat World Advice Guy tells us Cubby is a Socialized Cat).

And Cat World Advice Guy wouldn't lie to you (even though he does look like he's doing a very good job of annoying the cat by rubbing his/her face with a napkin--and therefore not giving a very good example of how to socialize a cat properly--and Cat Guy is wearing a Cat Hat, and if that isn't grounds for suspicion, I don't know what is):


Cat Guy doesn't tell us exactly what or how one gets a Socialized Cat but his Cat Spiel, (Kattenspiel?) which basically involves emphasizing repeatedly the phrase "Cubby is a Socialized Cat," is convincing nonetheless. (Katy, what's the real German here? I feel this is one of those absurd situations that deserves a fake German word like "Kattenspiel" as a place holder until The Real Linguist Amongst Us can correct it.)

But Cat Guy likes to tell you about Cubby, and his Socialized-ness, and how Cubby lives at a Cat Shelter with Other Socialized Kittycats, apparently in "Spunkyland," which must be located in "Cat World"):

Look, kids, you can pet Cubby and he won't scratch your face off, even though Cubby is looking increasingly pissed off about the whole situation!

Other Cubby/Cat World Fun Facts:

1) The Cat Shelter is for Socialized Cats.
2) Oh wait, we already told you about #1.
3) Cubby is one of such Socialized Cats.
4) Oh wait, we already told you about #3.
5) Cubby gets special treats every day.
6) What Cubby actually gets, per Jamie's observation, is small bits of Fancy Feast out of a can, even though Cat Guy will tell you Cubby gets halibut.
7) Cubby also, apparently, gets his face wiped down, whether or not he likes it.
8) Cubby, and Others Like Him, Need Your Help.
9) You can pet Cubby and take pictures of him, because he is... you got it! A Socialized Cat!
10) But, to you the truth, what Cubby really would like is money. (Maybe so he can go buy a new teeshirt, because yellow isn't really his color.)

Personally, I think Cubby's name should be Sprockets.