I say this not because I'm proud of the fact, but because I"m sitting here in a Residence Inn, eating Chinese food, and I had this random thought that if I did have an affair, it would be a lot like eating Chinese take-out.
INTERNAL MONOLOGUE:
I'm really hungry. So. very. hungry. Need. food. but. can't. cook. Getting. hypoglycemic. now. World. fast. fading.
[gets brilliant idea, dials Chinese food, then sits and fantasizes about the saturated fat goodness about to hit palate.
Time passes.
More time passes.
Scruffy looking guy in his fifties arrives with food. Hands are dirty. You hope he's just the driver.
Whirl wind gustatory affair commences.
For thirty seconds.
Tummy starts to ache.
Nausea starts.
Guilt sets in and makes you contribute to the weird Ashley Judd in Central America AIDS-a-thon you see on t.v.
Two days later, the little take-out boxes are sitting in the kitchen, looking glutinous and perhaps quivering hopefully ever so slightly behind the more appetizing fresh fruit, which is incidentally, good for you.
You grab an apple, ignoring the pathetic take out food, and slam the fridge door shut.
Three months later, while cleaning out the refrigerator, you notice the sad little box of Chinese food, now completely biohazardous, the Fatal Attraction of foodstuffs. Homer Simpson would eat the trimester old gunk, but you wouldn't.
In conclusion, boys and girls, this is why Jamie shouldn't be allowed to fast for over 24 hours, because of the delusional-thinking, and the stupid-thoughts thing.
I'm really hungry. So. very. hungry. Need. food. but. can't. cook. Getting. hypoglycemic. now. World. fast. fading.
[gets brilliant idea, dials Chinese food, then sits and fantasizes about the saturated fat goodness about to hit palate.
Time passes.
More time passes.
Scruffy looking guy in his fifties arrives with food. Hands are dirty. You hope he's just the driver.
Whirl wind gustatory affair commences.
For thirty seconds.
Tummy starts to ache.
Nausea starts.
Guilt sets in and makes you contribute to the weird Ashley Judd in Central America AIDS-a-thon you see on t.v.
Two days later, the little take-out boxes are sitting in the kitchen, looking glutinous and perhaps quivering hopefully ever so slightly behind the more appetizing fresh fruit, which is incidentally, good for you.
You grab an apple, ignoring the pathetic take out food, and slam the fridge door shut.
Three months later, while cleaning out the refrigerator, you notice the sad little box of Chinese food, now completely biohazardous, the Fatal Attraction of foodstuffs. Homer Simpson would eat the trimester old gunk, but you wouldn't.
In conclusion, boys and girls, this is why Jamie shouldn't be allowed to fast for over 24 hours, because of the delusional-thinking, and the stupid-thoughts thing.
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