deus ex machina pooh! (aka, random pooh).

Imagine, if you will, waking up in the a.m. to throw out your trash. Suddenly, out of nowhere, you've come face to face with a damn-near-lifesized version of Pooh!

And, Pooh is clad in what appears to be a rather revealing nightdress and nightcap in superhero colors.

I'm trying to remember if any of the people on my floor have kids, and if so, if this Uber Plush Toy could possibly belong to one of them, and Mom is trying to get rid of it to make room for the kid's paintball guns, or life-size statue of Monty Python. I can just see the conversation, now, when the kid finds out Pooh is gone: "Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Pooh told me he had to go away and accost some other girl half his size with his very yellow fur and expression of benign pathos. I'm sure you understand, don't you?"

I mean, there's no note attached to the Pooh, or anything, so I'm assuming maybe some trash dude was carrying it around and set it down to pick up my trash and then "forgot" to pick it back up.

I don't get this place. Did my disgruntlement at the Mr.-Toad-and-His Used-to-Be-Wild-Now-Completely-Defunct-Ride somehow take tangible form and fly out in to the cosmic Foucaultian universe, to be swept up by some unintelligible Hegelian Geist, whipped around Dasein Alley, and then cranked through some post-modern object generator, to return to earth, in the form of Pooh (Toad's usurper, in terms of attractions)?

Somewhere, a witchy little Foucault is up in his Spectacle World, casting a beneficent Gaze down at us little people, and just laughing his/her ass off.

I would ask someone to explain the meaning of this Pooh thing, but I doubt I'd want to know the answer, because it probably involves words like "five finger discount" and "teen druggies" and "framing someone else for the Pooh heist."

The thing does look brand new, but that doesn't mean very much. I've seen kids throw perfectly good stuff, emulating the non-earth nuturing qualities of their own wasteful DNA contributers.