crack rock bitches.

I know it would be nice if I didn't have to resort to crude language to express my Angry Feelings.

Actually, right now, I'm too exhausted to be Angry. But if I was going to tell you a story about my shift tonight, it would include the words "crack rock bitches." It would probably also involve the phrase "domino-effect of poor systemic issues" and would include very unflattering depictions of yours truly fucking up, and several other people acting pretty fucking clueless as well.

(Note Bene/Legal disclaimer crap: EVERYONE IN THE STORY IS FINE. FINE I TELL YOU. EVERYONE.)

But, I'm too tired to even go through any of it, and you'd just be left thinking, "Huh?!" if I told you the story any way. I'm not even sure I get what happened tonight, and I was there. Allegedly.

I'm just like, thinking about how stressful this job is, and how sometimes I wish I had a job that was just kind of chill, like nuclear arms dealer or mine-sweeper.

Non-sequitar:

You know how these days it's all en vogue to acknowledge the Stay At Home Mom? Well, I want society to start recongizing the efforts and sacrifices of the Stay At Home Pet Owner. I've had my dog for eleven years, man, society needs to validate my contributions to the pet-owning world! I'm an important part of my dog's life, and if I'm not there to tell him about drugs, who will? Who?! I ask you. I need to stay home with my dog, man, and be there for him. No more latch-key life for Piper!

I'm also saying here that I think I should be able to stay at home with the dog, and this mode of life should be equally as acceptable as staying home with your kid. Hey, nobody made you have the kid. Unless, of course, you live in Texas, are married to the Most Clueless Sperm Donor on the planet, and had a bunch of kids while known to be completely schizophrenic. Not that we've heard any stories about that phenomenon lately.

I should also get money for staying home with the dog. I mean, think about it. I'm a single pet owner, working hard, barely making ends meet. Hey! I gotta fucking sob story here! There should be state funds involved, because I'm not sure who my baby dog daddy is, and Piper is clearly suffering without a father figure in his life. I'm afraid any day now, he might turn to street living and gang activity due to this lack of parental guidance, especially now that I'm working evenings.

Or, maybe I want to be one of those women like I saw on Law and Order yesterday, who gets to "own" a cafe, but she doesn't really have to work in the cafe, because she's rich as hell. So she just hangs out at the cafe, and gets her employees to do all her crappy scut work for her, and takes all the credit (that doesn't sound like a hospital at all, by the way).

Plus, she makes a pact with another wife and they kill each other's husbands.* (I know, it seemed circuitous to me as well. But clever.) Wow! Working in a cafe, and forming super-secret murder pacts! What a simplified life I'd have if my life were more Law and Order and less Hospital Crap.

Or, I could just stay at home with Piper. I see a lot of homeless people with their dogs around Seattle.

The dogs look pretty damn well fed, too.

(*Note Bene: I have no desire or intent to form a pact to kill any one's husband, okay? I'm just saying it was a really weird Law and Order episode. And, I'm kind of confused. Maybe this is called a "plot hole," but seriously, that wife who had all the money? Like, why kill the dude? He sounded like a nice guy. Was it really that hard to have a fake job while your husband went out and made millions of dollars? Maybe I spaced out and missed something crucial, but if your husband is worth $26 million alive, and dead, he's worth $13 million... uh, don't you want him alive? I mean, who wrote this episode, some math-impaired slob?)