shave and a code cart.

PATIENT CARDIAC MONITOR:
A highly undesirable rate in the 200's.

JAMIE:
[looking at monitor, squinting extra hard to make sure she doesn't have that patient]:
Uh, that rhythm/rate looks like crap.

CARDIOLOGIST:
Hmmm. It looks like SVT to me, not V-tach.

MONITOR TECH:
Yeah, and the guy's obviously perfusing, because he hasn't passed out yet.
[yells to another nurse, who is running around looking frantic]
Hey! I don't know if it's Vtach or what, but he's been sustaining in the 200's for a minute now.

JAMIE:
[thinks]
He won't be perfusing for long if that's his rate and rhythm. Hey, I know this isn't my patient and all, but why are we standing around having a philosophical debate about this rate? Shouldn't somebody like, go into his room? Should I go into the room?

CARDIAC MONITOR:

Flatlines.

NURSES:
Collectively run into the patient's room as a code is called.

Minutes pass. Patient "wakes up" to find several nurses surronding him doing "cardiac emergency stuff."

PATIENT:
Wow. What happened. Where am I? Oh dear. I haven't shaved today. This isn't right, being around this many women without having shaved!

JAMIE:
[thinks]:
Dude, shaving is the least of your problems right now.