We here at Pied Piper Incorporated know it's been a few days since there has been a picture of Piper up on the blog. In regard to this egregious oversight, we can only say to his ardent and loyal fans, we at Pied Piper Inc. are sorry for the oversight.
We wouldalso like to hasten to reassure his loyal fan base that while there may be some confusion in the media surronding that other celebrity with a five letter "P" name, Piper has not been been recently incarcerated for peeing on a suspended license, nor does he have an unspecified medical condition requiring immediate psychiatric evaluation, as previously rumored. Piper wishes to send his support and condolences to the other P celebrity, stating simply, 'Being a famous bitch ain't easy, and neither is going to the doghouse. Paws for peace, man!'
We here at Pied Piper Inc. think we've all learned something--although we're not sure what-- from this brutal deprivation of Piper images, and we can only hope his fans can take that message--whatever that actually is--to heart, and try to learn from this trying experience, forgive, and move on, without the need for jail time, home arrest, or an electronic ankle bracelet.
We do ask that you respect Piper's privacy during this intensely emotional time.
Thank you,
Piper's Management Team and Lawyers.
2 comments:
I notice that Piper has not specifically denied eloping to Vegas with one of his backup dancers. Can we take this as a tacit admission that the rumor is true?
Is this really a recent picture, or was that another dog I saw in the National Enquirer completely shaved?
And last but not least, has P-Nasty received any messages from God lately, like a certain other celebrity we know?
Pee-Nasty says that Miss Hilton confided to him that she was misquoted in saying she "found her dog," not "God."
Piper, like the well known, frazzled heiress herself, says that he "shocked" by all the recent media attention he has garnered lately after the Hilton hoopla, and while he remains loyal to his fan base "wishes people would understand and respect his need for privacy and that 'even The Big Pee Himself--not to mention Paris-- isn't always perfect."
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